Revenge of the spider.

Our children are supposed to think we are brave. That we can protect them from anything......hmmmm, blew that one last night!

I tucked my daughter into bed. Kissed her goodnight, and headed back to the t.v. A little while later, she came back downstairs.

"Mummy I can't sleep. there are cobwebs on the ceiling and I'm scared the spiders will crawl on me when I go to sleep."

Cobwebs? - How embarrassing. Must remember to dust places other than the ones that fall directly in my eye line!

So, armed with a duster, I held my daughters hand and led her back to bed. Dutifully dusting away the cobwebs. " But mummy, the spiders may still be in the room." She gestured, wide eyed. Just then, our daft dog 'Honey' bounded in, tongue lolling ( think Santa's little helper from the Simpson's.) Sparking the memory that any spiders Honey sees, she catches, chews up, and spits them out. ( I guess those things taste really bad. Or it could just be that she really is a daft dog - check out the pic. And yea, she's wearing shorts. )

" Oh, baby, no need to worry. There are no spiders in our house because Honey eats them all up! Now they are too scared to come into our house. And if there are any spiders left, she'll get them, I promise."

My daughter cocked her head to one side seemingly remembering Honey tossing the last spider she caught up in the air, pouncing on it, and flicking it into the air again.

To prove to her it was safe, I scooted across the bed, and snuggled under her covers. " OK baby, you go get a book from your bookshelf, and mummy will read you a nice story to help you sleep."

So, off she shot to her bookcase, to no doubt pick the biggest, thickest book she could find. I wiggled further under the covers, when suddenly a slight movement caught my eye. I looked closer at the source of the movement. And, there running up the bed towards my face, at full speed, was the biggest, hairiest spider, i have ever seen. ( other than on the t.v of course.) I shot from that bed like someone had stuck a red hot poker up my arse. Limbs flailing, screaming for my husband at the top of my voice. My dumb spider eating dog laid on her back, paws in the air, wondering what all the fuss was about.

Luckily, I caught sight of my daughters bewildered face, and stopped shrieking like a bad actress in a slasher flick, just as my husband came barrelling through the door.

" What on earth is going on?"
My husband said.
" Erm CRAMP! Yes that's it...I had cramp!"
I muttered to my confused family.
My daughter sighed theatrically ; " Daddy, mummy saw a spider...I don't think she knows they can't eat you?" She said, and shook her head in exasperation.

Well i think I can safely assume she will be calling her daddy to check for spiders next time - eh?