The marriage monologues.

Since we got married a few weeks ago, everyone we meet is suddenly a relationship expert, and joy of joys, they all want to impart their wisdom on us newly weds.

We only invited close friends and family to the wedding, and so until we run into them, a lot
of our friends and acquaintances don't know we are married, but when they do the conversation goes something like this: Friend: "hey, so whats new with you?"
US: (furtive nervous, glances at each other) umm.."well, we got married"
Friends: *sound of crickets, followed by extreme gushing.."wow, that's great, you know, we've been saving to get married for ages, we just haven't saved enough yet! (man suddenly goes white with impending doom) She continues..."you know, the secret to a long lasting relationship is..".(fill in the blank depending on the person/couple ) trust/sharing/friendship/ , you get the idea!
Friends: "oh we would have so loved to have seen you get married!" ( can't tell you how many times we've been cornered by this line.)
Us: *guilty expressions. " oh, it was a small wedding you know. erm, why don't you come round for dinner tomorrow night? Have a look at the photos?"
 
And so it begins...This is how the number of excruciating "marriage masterclass" evenings, came about, over, and over since the wedding. Especially from the un married couples, funnily enough.These evenings seemed to fall into three categories.
1) The married couple who tell us in detail how to have a harmonious marriage, and sex life ( yes, that's right extreme detail on their healthy sex lives. Although we learnt quickly and took away the wine.) and then spend the entire evening arguing over every point the other made.
2) The un married couple that will have the perfect marriage because their relationship is based on...listening to one another/trust/friendship etc and then spend the entire evening arguing over every point the other made.
3) The unmarried couple who "would never get married" as they have the perfect relationship, don't we realize that marriage ruins everything, and then spend the entire evening arguing over every point the other made.

Well we definatley learnt something from the endless marriage monologues. We learnt how to communicate with   furtive looks, and gestures, and we learnt we shouldn't serve wine when entertaining. I don't mean it, but geez, EVERYONE's an expert!